Sunday, November 20, 2005

A few specific things to hate about Pete's blog

Even a cursory glance reveals numerous things to hate about Pete and Pete's blog. For example:

(1) The title is a blatant rip-off of "The World According to Garp," a novel by John Irving. In the novel, characters are repeatedly castrated, both figuratively and metaphorically. What does this say about Pete? Noooooo balllllssss....

(2) In the upper right there is a cartoon of two cats with a curved trail of paw prints between them. Obviously the cats are drunk, so Pete is advocating feeding your cats whiskey. Plus the cats are pink and you can see one of the cats' bellybuttons. Shaved cats? What the hell kind of fetishy crap is that? Pete is sick.

(3) Pete's blog says "Copyright 2002-2004." Hello! What year is it? Maybe somebody should get Pete a watch that tells the year. Or an alarm clock that buzzes every January 1. (You can hit the snooze button and it will buzz again in April.) Pete is probably confused because he can't bear to take down his 2004 "Chippendale's Biggest Hunks" calendar. Faggot.

(4) Pete ends all his blog entries with two brackets like this: [ ]. What the hell is that supposed to be? It looks like two discarded staples left on Pete's bathroom floor after he tried to staple his ass cheeks together.

Man, that's just the tip of the Pete-hating heart-of-iceberg.

1 Comments:

At 4:34 PM, Blogger petriskosucks said...

i love you.

 

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